Oh, wait, what was that? Sorry, I forgot to listen!
Blah, blah, blah...
Peter Hartlaub doesn't like Spyro. In fact, one might say he hates Spyro...with a passion. In a recent article published in the San Francisco Chronicle, Mr. Hartlaub didn't sugarcoat how he felt about a certain diminutive, purple dragon. In what can only be described as a rant he proceeded to tell us how seven video game series - including that of our scaled hero - have gone awry in today's ever-changing world of gaming entertainment. I'm not usually one to defend something purely because I'm a fan or supporter of it - I will admit the Legend of Spyro arc is not my cup of tea - but Hartlaub wasn't solely referring to the new games - he said the series as a whole shouldn't ever have existed.
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| Spyro the Dragon needed to be thrown into a wood chipper from day one. |
Can you spell d-i-s-a-g-r-e-e-m-e-n-t ?
The original three games were timeless classics and I'm neither blind nor nostalgic - I have a slew of reviewers far more creditable than Hartlaub who'd agree with me right now in a heartbeat.
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| Spyro the Dragon: Spyro is getting singled out because he's especially purple and annoying, but we could also add Crash Bandicoot, Frogger and Sonic the Hedgehog to the list. And all of those look like a Halo sequel compared with the licensed properties for products such as Bratz and movies such as "Alvin and the Chipmunks." Video games for children are repetitive and unimaginative, poorly written and prone to glitches, with just a few exceptions. Buy a copy of Katamari Damacy, Lego Star Wars or one of the better Nintendo DS titles and hope for a better future. |
Mr Hartlaub - poppycock! Mario Galaxy is also considered a "video game for children". I'm guessing you're one of the two people who called it bad. You're confused. Yes, there's no denying that Bratz and Alivn and the Chipmunks should join the E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial Atari 2600 game in its maggot-infested landfill somewhere beyond the American-Mexico border. In fact, it'd be better if we just jettisoned them to space now and saved ourselves the wasted space. Those are movie and toy franchise games which are notorious for being made purely to milk the udders of the franchise raw, not actually to entertain.
Spyro, Crash, Rayman and friends are original IPs and have nothing to do with those aforementioned crap-fests. Lumping them altogether in one category called "children's games" is just plain wrong.
However, for someone whose favorite games include Burnout, Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto, Half Life, Ratchet & Clank, and Resident Evil, we shouldn't have expected anything else. It DOESN'T jeopardize your masculinity to like something without drugs, sex, killing, blood and prostitutes. Really, it doesn't.
Oh, and by the way, the makers of Ratchet and Clank made the original Spyro games. Thought you'd like to know.
Mindless.
Hartlaub works as the pop-culture analyst for the San Francisco Chronicle. His columns include Pop Culture and Playing Games. He assists in writing about movies, television and the media as well.
